Dear Skype:
What the f##k are you doing?
- Why are you taking so much memory? 250 MB
- Why are you using so much CPU cycles? 24.2%
- Why are you using so much CPU cycles while using webcam? 80+%
Who the f##k wrote you?
- Which idiot wrote the program?
- Why does it take so long to load conversation histories? They are in a SQLite3 db.
I would personally like to meet the idiots that wrote Skype and sock each and every single one of them.

Why the hell does it take forever to load the conversation histories? I wrote this snippet and if I wanted to I could have dressed it up a bit to make it look nice, but that doesn’t even take remotely as long as Skype.
<?php
$db = null;
try {
$db = new SQLite3("main.db", SQLITE3_OPEN_READONLY);
} catch (Exception $e) {
echo "Caught exception: ", $e->getMessage(), "<br/>";
print_r($e->getTrace());
}
$result = $db->query("SELECT * FROM Messages WHERE type=61 ORDER BY id");
while ($row = $result->fetchArray(SQLITE3_ASSOC)) {
echo "<strong>", $row["author"], "</strong>: ", $row["body_xml"], " at ", $row["timestamp"];
echo "<br/>";
}
?>
What the f##k are you doing Skype?
As I computer science student, I don’t know what the f##k you are doing Skype.